Neglect

As I was going through a body focused meditation, I received a “vision” in which I saw a very frail woman.

She was sitting on the ground in a very dark room with her head to her knees and her arm hanging over her knee. I couldn’t see her face and she wouldn’t look up at me.

All I could really make out was her arm, which looked like skin and bones, and her color looked pale, dull and ashy.

I felt chills down my body as I observed her in complete awe of how frail she looked. I felt that if I reached out to touch her she would turn into dust with even the slightest touch of my finger.

My heart broke and then two words came to me: Neglected and Abandoned.

I kinda zoned out of the rest of the meditation because my focus was now on her.

And “her” was me. I was looking at ME.

That’s how I felt and looked on the inside.

And whoa.

I did not look so good. Like it was beyond “Call the doctor” and it was looking more like “Call the morgue.” Not kidding.

I sat with that image for days, still in awe of what I saw, of how she looked. I was blown away by the fact that I was SO unaware of how I really felt deep inside.

These past few days, I’ve felt called to remember the “vision” I received again. This time I’ve been contemplating the word I received that day: Neglect.