Knowing About God vs Knowing God

Although I grew up in a religious household and knew *about* God for all of my life . . . I didn’t get the memo that God loves ME.

I didn’t know, until about a year or so ago, that I didn’t believe He liked me. Subconsciously I thought that if He didn’t like me, how could He possibly love me.

My relationship with God, for most of my life, was based on an unhealthy type of fear.

And I didn’t know it.

So subconsciously I kept trying to prove myself. To be perfect. To be obedient. To not ask questions.

I didn’t know God welcomed questions and that He wasn’t always angry at me.

I didn’t know how to talk to God.

I didn’t know He could guide me directly.

I didn’t know what it was like to have my prayers answered.

I didn’t know I could ask for anything.

I thought the list of things I could ask for help on was very limited.

I didn’t know I could hear Him whisper the answers in my ear.

I didn’t know God’s playful side.

I didn’t know He had a sense of humor.

I didn’t know a lot of things.

I didn’t know what would come of the demand I made Him the day my mother passed away.

My Mom was my “Great Tribulation” Survival Buddy. We had a plan that kind of went out the window when she died.

I was lost. Without a Mom. Without a plan. Now what? That afternoon I had a conversation with God. It was a conversation that would change the trajectory of my life and I didn’t know that either. Here’s a brief summary of what I said:

“Teach me how to survive what’s coming. I don’t care how You do it. All I know is that YOU are personally going to train me for what’s coming because I WILL see her again.”

It’s been 1,523 days since God and I had that conversation.

I didn’t get the memo on a lot of things and my heart aches for those that feel what I felt and they don’t know why or where it comes from or that it could be different.

Today, my relationship with God is SO different. I feel loved. I LOVE being loved by Him. He’s my Best Friend.

I want to teach others how to get to this level of friendship with God. It’s easier than you’d think 😉